She looks at me
I turn away
Can she see the shame
Through my eyes
We both know
I fool no one
Virginal though I be
My mind is simply
Not as I pretend
My heart fears
I hide behind words
My smile covers so
When my lips curve
None see
The blackest part of me
Does she see
My fear and care
Go hand in hand
I wish you were here
I tell her
If she was I fear
I would only hurt
Both her and myself
I push away
Gently at first
Roughly, harshly
Gathering walls
Pull them tight
Stack them high
Selfish I am
Asking for her heart
When I don’t even
Trust my own
She gives faithfully
Her devotion
Try to quell
My deep set fears
Allow myself to feel
The affection
From which I shy away
Try I might
Never fully succeed
Does she trust me
If she does-
I know not how
I don’t deserve
A girl like her
So wonderful
Kind-hearted
Passionate
Intelligent
Caring
Devastated by the world
I fear that
When I try so
I may hurt her
Meaning not, still I may
I fear it so
I deserve, not she
She is too good for me
I the best
So she says
Can she see
Right through me
She knows me
More than most ever will
More than my face
More than my names
More than my lips
More than my eyes
More than my smile
More than my body
She sees me
I fear it
For she may leave
Discover my hurt
Runs so much deeper
Then she thought
Or perhaps she
Will give up on me
I deserve it
For who I am
For who I’ve been
I fear it
Hope against it
Expect it
If she knew
Every me inside
Would she see the same
Would she care
My harsh roughness
This she knows not
Were she to know
What then-
If she saw
The true depths
Of my heart
Knew my story
Felt my brokenness
Held me in her arms
Rather than vice versa
Would she hug me
Kiss my scars
Kiss my lips
Show me care or
Would she fear
Run in terror
Once my monster
Broke through
Would she cower
If she knew my heart
If I
Stripped of more than clothes
Were with her
Would she fix my broken pieces
Or run away
She has not yet
But I fear she does not
Truly see this beast
That lays inside me
I care for her so
But I shut down
My care closes
Fear consumes
So if I
Bared to her my soul
Would she love me complete
Or leave me to face
My own defeat
I turn away
Can she see the shame
Through my eyes
We both know
I fool no one
Virginal though I be
My mind is simply
Not as I pretend
My heart fears
I hide behind words
My smile covers so
When my lips curve
None see
The blackest part of me
Does she see
My fear and care
Go hand in hand
I wish you were here
I tell her
If she was I fear
I would only hurt
Both her and myself
I push away
Gently at first
Roughly, harshly
Gathering walls
Pull them tight
Stack them high
Selfish I am
Asking for her heart
When I don’t even
Trust my own
She gives faithfully
Her devotion
Try to quell
My deep set fears
Allow myself to feel
The affection
From which I shy away
Try I might
Never fully succeed
Does she trust me
If she does-
I know not how
I don’t deserve
A girl like her
So wonderful
Kind-hearted
Passionate
Intelligent
Caring
Devastated by the world
I fear that
When I try so
I may hurt her
Meaning not, still I may
I fear it so
I deserve, not she
She is too good for me
I the best
So she says
Can she see
Right through me
She knows me
More than most ever will
More than my face
More than my names
More than my lips
More than my eyes
More than my smile
More than my body
She sees me
I fear it
For she may leave
Discover my hurt
Runs so much deeper
Then she thought
Or perhaps she
Will give up on me
I deserve it
For who I am
For who I’ve been
I fear it
Hope against it
Expect it
If she knew
Every me inside
Would she see the same
Would she care
My harsh roughness
This she knows not
Were she to know
What then-
If she saw
The true depths
Of my heart
Knew my story
Felt my brokenness
Held me in her arms
Rather than vice versa
Would she hug me
Kiss my scars
Kiss my lips
Show me care or
Would she fear
Run in terror
Once my monster
Broke through
Would she cower
If she knew my heart
If I
Stripped of more than clothes
Were with her
Would she fix my broken pieces
Or run away
She has not yet
But I fear she does not
Truly see this beast
That lays inside me
I care for her so
But I shut down
My care closes
Fear consumes
So if I
Bared to her my soul
Would she love me complete
Or leave me to face
My own defeat