The words pound through my brain. Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Bitch. Numb. Weak. Faster and faster, heart racing, eyes burning. My head aches, my arm stings, my heart breaks, I sing. Pain flows with every note. Sorrowful tones fill every breath, ragged though they are. Yearning, I reach. For my vice, my haven, my crutch, my mech, device, release, sweet sweet blade. My skin begs. Begs to be torn, bitten, slashed, sliced, bled out. The liquid runs, cold, slippery, bitter, sweet, and metallic. I love it. I lust it. The beads form and I think “beauty”. Nothing else. Then a crooked grin, and back again.
The words pound through my brain. Whirring, churning, stronger still. I reach again, find nothing. Grope about, cry out. Tears won’t come, my heart swells, shakes, condenses. Trash compactor. But it is too much. I bend, I sway, almost break. But then, there he is. “You are the strongest person I know” blinks across the screen. I collapse, tears pour, shaky words find the message box. Rethink. Erase. “Thank you. I needed that.” Good. Send. Always there. And now:
The words pound through my brain. But this time, they calm. Slow. The tension releases. Gently they dissolve. New words: Griffin. How. Why. Love. Deserve. Maybe. Can. Strength. Support. Pillar. There. Resist.
The tears are dry now. I hiccup, smile through the pain. You quell my fears and pains, though you are never near. You are very dear.
The words pound through my brain. Whirring, churning, stronger still. I reach again, find nothing. Grope about, cry out. Tears won’t come, my heart swells, shakes, condenses. Trash compactor. But it is too much. I bend, I sway, almost break. But then, there he is. “You are the strongest person I know” blinks across the screen. I collapse, tears pour, shaky words find the message box. Rethink. Erase. “Thank you. I needed that.” Good. Send. Always there. And now:
The words pound through my brain. But this time, they calm. Slow. The tension releases. Gently they dissolve. New words: Griffin. How. Why. Love. Deserve. Maybe. Can. Strength. Support. Pillar. There. Resist.
The tears are dry now. I hiccup, smile through the pain. You quell my fears and pains, though you are never near. You are very dear.